I wonder where all of this will lead. I feel like a bug him like he doesnt want or need to talk to him. I guess i just miss his messages in the morning and throughout the day. Its kinda sad how the first thing I check in the morning is to see if he messaged me. I met a new guy at the hospital he is doing his internship with my cardiologist he is really nice. My mom encouraged me to talk to him because she doesnt want to see me depressed and wants me to go out since I havent in a while and dulce inan and eddy are also trying to get me out of my room. But the do not undestand what it is im feeling this heartache that has nothing to do with the physical aspect of my heart. I don’t think anyone will undestand. Danny has been texting me good morning every morning he says maybe that way I wont miss him so much. This is why I don’t think they can ever understand how I feel. If they did they would know his messages are not repplaceable that only his are special and get me to wake up with a smile in the morning. But then sometimes I get angry I feel like he doesnt care but like he always tells me you feel it and i know its porbably not true but I cant shake the uneasy feeling that this trip is going to be the end of our 3yr8month relationship. But I guess I need to give him space mayeb this trip will help him decide if he misses me if I mean that much to him but if he realises that he doesnt and i don’t mean much. Who do I hold on to im not strong enought to deal with all this by myself, and it would be selfish to ask danny to wait for me because he shouldnt have to i know who horrible and uneasy waiting is. And I dont think i could get to love him ever my heart belongs to only him. <3 B~n~E